Confession Time: I’m SICK of Having to Put My Kids First

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Every morning (or night if you will) my alarm goes off at 230am. I snooze like 5 times, and then I try to detach Zayn without waking him up, sneak out of the room and get dressed in the living room so that I can be at work at 3 effing 30. In the morning. Since James works overnight also, that means I have two kids I then have to (sometimes) dress and move in the middle of the night to their respective locations so that they aren’t left unsupervised. Thank God for family! 

Zayn’s first winter was ROUGH. I found myself calling out of work pretty often to stay home because one or both kids were sick and ain’t nobody trying to take care of a sick child that isn’t  theirs in the middle of the night. Love em or not! Returning to work is always led with “Hey what happened?” and then upon explaining my situation (sick kids, 3am, no childcare...) I always get the “empathetic “well, you have to do what’s best for your family”. 

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And I’m going to be completely honest with y’all and say when it comes to work vs family, I’m tired of choosing my kids. Because.... I feel like it shouldn’t even be a “thing”. I’m honestly annoyed by the guilt I feel of letting someone else down every time I have to stay home to be with them. I just want to parent guilt-free. Back in December Zayn (at 5 months old) was hospitalized for Croup and I actually had someone look at me with confusion and say, “you could’ve left him there and just came to work it’s not like he could go anywhere.” Miss....... what?!?!  

I completely get that for some people the money is the motive but no one tries to make you feel guilty when you miss your kids 4th school performance for your lil $15 an hour, so why do I get so much crap for choosing the opposite end? I’m over it. I’m completely tired of the fact that I even HAVE to make choosing my kids a big deal but I’d never choose anything else. I don’t get paid enough for all that. 

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What's your work/life balance like? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.